I hit a bird yesterday, or rather a bird hit me. I was travelling back up the M5, going 90mph, when I heard this awfully loud crack. At first I thought a rock had hit the windscreen, but then out of my rearview mirror, I saw feathers floating in the air. I thought, ah I must have hit another bird.

Later when I pulled into the printers to pick up my new batch of business cards, I saw the most gruesome sight. The reporter in me wanted to take a picture of it, but the humanitarian in me said to be respectful of the dead even if it is just a bird. What had happened was the bird had impaled itself on one of the roof rack bars. I’m talking this square bar had gone clean through this bird’s chest. I literally had to cut the bird off with a spade, it’s guts and stuff spilt all over the side of my truck. Yuck!