A Reflection on Brown Girls Do It Too

It started as a digital dérive, one of those random, serendipitous wanderings across the vast sprawl of the internet. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular—just letting the current take me where it would. And that’s how I stumbled upon Brown Girls Do It Too, a podcast that, until now, had never crossed my radar. The episode that found me was about sacrifice. A heavy topic, one that settles into the bones and lingers long after the conversation ends.
Sacrifice is woven into the fabric of human existence. We do it for our families, our friendships, our careers, our nations. Sometimes willingly, sometimes because the script of life demands it. To belong—to be part of something greater than ourselves—requires giving up pieces of who we are. But at what cost?
Listening to Poppy and Rubina unpack this theme, their voices raw and unfiltered, I found myself spiralling into my own history of sacrifice. My time in the military, surrendering my freedom so that others could keep theirs. My role as a father, shelving personal ambitions because, rightly so, the kids come first. There are things I’ve set aside that I can never reclaim—time, youth, alternate versions of myself that never got to fully exist. And yet, I don’t consider myself a martyr. I made these sacrifices because they were the right thing to do, not necessarily what I wanted to do.
But sacrifice isn’t always so noble. If I’m being honest, I also make choices based on self-interest, even when they appear outwardly altruistic. The sacrifices I make often have an ulterior motive—peace of mind, fewer complications, an easier road ahead. And that’s something Brown Girls Do It Too does so well: it strips away the illusion that all sacrifices are purely selfless. There’s nuance, contradiction, and messy humanity behind every choice we make.
Hearing these themes explored from a female perspective added another layer to my reflection. The weight of sacrifice is often heavier for women, an expectation deeply ingrained in cultural narratives. To listen as Poppy and Rubina wrestled with their own experiences—open, unscripted, and deeply personal—was a reminder of how much these conversations matter.
Sacrifice is a currency we all trade in. Some payments feel fair. Others, we spend a lifetime regretting. But the question that lingers is this: how much of yourself can you give away before there’s nothing left to reclaim?
I’ll definitely be diving into more episodes of Brown Girls Do It Too. If you’re up for an honest, unfiltered conversation about the choices we make and what they cost us, start with this one: BBC Sounds – Brown Girls Do It Too.
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