I have made a public service announcement for the modern age.
I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know that it’s not about AI or about the collapse of Western civilization or the latest release of the iphone.
No.
This one concerns the ancient human problem of what happens when someone leaves the loo in a condition that suggests the next visitor may need counseling.
I went camping this past weekend up north near the Wyre River.
I’ve spent enough time in campsite toilet blocks to know that civilisation is not held together by constitutions, parliaments, or leadership frameworks. It’s held together by small acts of decency performed in shared spaces.
Wiping down the sink.
Not leaving your wet socks on the only dry bench.
Closing the door properly.
And, when required, flushing twice.
There I said it.
The thing I like about campsites is the diversity. The retired couple in the motorhome. The family in the giant tent that takes four adults and a minor engineering qualification to assemble. The solo walker. The festival survivor. The glampers. The bloke in sliders carrying a towel and trying to look like he knows where the showers are.
All of us are equal before the porcelain.
But every now and then you get someone who plays loose with bogside etiquette and leaves a deuce floating around. Not cool.
Please leave these facilities as you would wish to find them. That’s how most of the signs go.
But sometimes the situation calls for poetry.
So I made a sign.
Here it is, my contribution to civic life:
It’s available for purchase on my Redbubble site as an artboard print or sticker.
So if you run a campsite, a caravan park, a glamping site, a pub, a cabin, a holiday let, or simply have a bathroom that needs a little more comic authority, you can find it here:
Last thing, shared spaces need shared rituals. A sign like this is ridiculous, yes, but it’s also a tiny nudge toward care. It says, “Someone else is coming in after you, pal, so don’t leave them your unfinished business.”
That’s not a bad rule for life, really.
Anyway, the sign exists now.
May your toilets be clean, your paper plentiful, and your flushes decisive.
Clay
Folk applaud Thomas Crapper for his flushing toilet but I think we should look to the Romans, their communal loos and a sponge on a stick. They didn’t have to worry about floaters, splatterers or excess paper.