mr organized, well maybe…

Today has flown in a flurry of tasks as I attempt to straddle two worlds. My normal disorganized chaotic self versus my attempt at being a techno-hip organized member of society. The fact that I have been drowning in a sea of papers, half-read books, magazines and unopened mail has spurred this new found religious drive to be one of the task focused brigade. It’s 9 p.m. Normally I would be just starting to think to get ready for the course I’m delivering tomorrow down in London. Instead, my course notes are printed; my train tickets are bought. My shirt is ironed and my shoes are shined. I have even checked the tube lines to see if there are any closures. I still have a long way to go to get really organized, but I think I’ve made a fair start.

Gambia 2008

Imagine what it will feel like to be part of…

‘Gambia 2008 – The Ultimate Personal Development and Contribution Experience’ (Proudly organised by UK registered Charity WYCE)

Learning and growing massively as an individual whilst making a huge difference to the lives of people within the

Gambian community where you will be staying for the duration of the programme.

An experience so powerful that it will positively impact your outlook for the rest of your life……….


Begin to appreciate the enormous sense of achievement you will experience from being part of a programme that challenges you physically, mentally and emotionally.

Be curious about what will excite you most about sharing time within a culture that provides you with new deep insights about the nature of what it is to be human.

Imagine how you will experience the privileged opportunity of supporting a Gambian village that needs our help.

Anticipate the benefits that you will gain from immersing yourself in working closely with four of the UK’s leading experts in the field of personal and professional development. Look forward to experiencing inspired training, mentoring and coaching from masters who have dedicated their lives to helping people like you to experience and achieve more of what you want and deserve. (Find out more)

PGR

We had another fabulous night of poetry at the Pure and Good and Right open mic session.  The guest poet was Simon Lee with a cameo appearance by Birmingham’s Young Poet Laureate, Matt Windle.  I attempted to broadcast the event live on the Internet of which some of you may have seen.  The video quality was suspect (do to bandwidth and all) but the audio came across OK.  If you missed the open mic and want to get a taste of the event, you can find clips on my ustreamTV broadcast station.  Check it out.

Lloret De Mar part II

It’s strange to be one day in one country, wake up and be in another the next day. When I open my eyes in the dark, I could be anywhere.

Ruth and I have come back to Lloret De Mar where we celebrated our honeymoon 14 years ago. When we came then, it was summer and full of sun worshippers; now it is a virtual ghost town peopled by folks looking for a cheap escape or to chase the last rays of warm sun.

At breakfast we gobbled down the usual fair in these cheap hotels – rolls, something that passes for sandwich meat, off-branded cereal that tastes like something you might feed to your pet gerbil, cheap pastries, soggy bacon, water-logged scrambled eggs and coffee that tastes like tar no matter how much sugar you add to it.

Later, we wander around the town looking for our honeymoon hotel (we would have stayed there, but even during the off-season the cost was more than we wanted to pay – money killed romance and left her broken body for the worms). The town is more alive than I thought; there are plenty of shoppers, holidaymakers and general folk wandering around the many inviting side streets – a shoppers and food lovers’ paradise. A t-shirt catches my eye that claims to sum up the Spanish sporting life:

A Spanish triathlon: drinking, eating, and fucking (little stick figures out each scenario).

Another t-shirt, one I end up buying, says:

You laugh because I’m different; I laugh because you are all the same.

We find our honeymoon hotel and touch a little history. It hasn’t changed much in 14 years; or maybe it has and only looks the same because of the fixed mental image in our minds.

We pass a church. A crowd gathers to watch a bum beat his bitch on a bench in the churchyard. The people stand and stare, watching this scene unfold before God, with bemused looks on their faces unable to act, unable to turn away. Ruth and I walk by this surreal scene; spectators of the human drama not wanting to intervene least we become participants in the drama.

Lloret De Mar Part I

Another airport. At least this time it’s for leisure. We are finally taking our belated anniversary trip, which we were both too busy to take in April.

We are flying into Barcelona. The plan is to rent a car and then drive about two hours north to Lloret De Mar, where we had our honeymoon 14 years ago. Looking out the aircraft window, I marvel at the ethereal landscape the clouds make; it’s almost as if you can step off the plane and walk for miles into the cloud mountains painted red from the sinking sun.

I read Kerouac to pass the time.

About an hour into the flight, the ride gets rocky; it feels like any moment the captain will come on the intercom and say ‘bend over and kiss your assess goodbye because this is it boys and girls.’ Thankfully he just says fasten your seatbelts, the ride is going to be rough until we get over Paris.

We arrived at our hotel after midnight. The plane was and hour late landing. The drive north took us an hour and half and the first challenge we faced was finding a place to park our little Ford in a densely packed concrete beach town because the Hotel Cleopatra apparently doesn’t have parking for its patrons. Nevermind. We drive around the endless one-way narrow streets until we find a place to park.

The night porter looks like Commander Adama from Battlestar Galactica. He is a pleasant chap – helpful – he tells us in Spanish and hand gestures how to find our room. We toss our bags on the bed and hit the hotel bar. The barmaid is Kat from Eastenders, but nowhere near as good looking as Kat, but twice as foul. We down a couple of Sangrias to wash the road from our tired bones before retiring for the night. The hotel is bare basic, but for 20 quid a night, it’ll do just fine.

on the road

I fly to Spain in 2 hours.  My travel companions are Ruth, Kerouac, and Auden. I have no agenda other than to get to Barcelona and see what happens.

random diary pages

(click image for larger view)

In addition to my blog, I keep a paper journal.  I thought I’d do a semi-regular posting of random pages from my various journal entries.

-C

prospect of words

I’ve been spontaneously smiling today.  I can’t seem to stop.  I believe it’s the prospect of words that has me walking around the house breaking out into ear to ear grins at random.  I’ve started rereading Jack Kerouac’s novel, On the Road, in preparation for my trip to Spain next week.  I’m also taking along some W.H. Auden which I picked up at Waterstone’s yesterday.  I guess it’s true that word choice determines thought choice, which in turn determines emotions and actions.

heaven or hell?

Most people are prisoners in their own lives. I suppose that can be a good thing or a bad thing. It depends on whether your life is a heaven or a hell.

question no. 37

[youtube]mUVJU3uWOuo[/youtube]
are we meant to suffer?

P.S. In 1995 my unit was notified that we would be deploying to Bosnia. We were marched into the post theater to hear a presentation from our brigade commander. He used this video to set the tone for what he was about to say. That day remains forever etched in my memory.

pure and good and right


It’s open mic poetry time again in Leamington Spa and I’m performing a few pieces.  So if you’re around this Sunday, 19 August, come on down to The Fox for a little pure and good and right.  The headlining poet is the one and only Spoz, Birmingham’s poet laureate.

The show starts at 19.30 at the FOX, Clarendon Avenue, Leamington Spa CV32 4RZ.

cornwall

I spent last week in Cornwall on part two of my summer holidays. I’ve wanted to visit Cornwall since I moved to the UK. 7 years later and I’m finally visiting what has been described as the English Riviera. Well on day one it was all English and no Riviera. It rained like crazy while the wind laid siege to our awning. We sat inside the caravan longing for Lanzarote.

In the morning we awoke to silence. The kind of silence that typical follows a battle scene the morning after, all quiet and calm, the guns and explosions a distant memory.
The second day there was no rain, but no sun either, so we decided to visit the Eden Project.

If you’re into plants and saving the planet, the Eden Project is worth a visit. There are over a million plants on the site to include 4,000 taxa (species and cultivars)! I found the humid biome to be the best of the 3 biomes on site. I also felt inspired by the things people are making out of the trash the majority of us throw away on a daily basis.

We dipped into the historic seafaring town of Fowey for some lunch. The people who live in Fowey must drive small cars and be very fit as the streets are very narrow and everything seems to be uphill. Apparently the port of Fowey was important during the Middle Ages as a trade route between Ireland and continental Europe. Pirates also found the place attracted as they used to prey on the ships in the Channel.

On Monday the Riviera weather returned. I woke up to sun and blue sky and an early morning jogger. He’s dedicated. I’m not. I brought my running gear with the intent to carry on with my running routine like I do most holidays, but somehow I just couldn’t muster up the motivation. I also brought my Mac with intent to work on the book in the mornings, but the Power of Chill got the better of me and I settled into my lawn chair with a cup of coffee and watched the sunrise over the sea instead.

I had some very odd dreams during this holiday; probably from the Cornish mead I drank each night before bed. In one dream, I was on a canoe trip with a friend. We stopped near a building so I could go pee. As I was relieving myself, the floor shook and I heard a loud thud. I ran out of the building and discovered that part I was in had come apart from the main build. There were people rescuing folks from the building. I joined in the rescue. In the line of girls I was rescuing, most of them were topless.

In another dream, we were on a long distance trek. We stopped inside a cave system to rest for the night. There was a big hole in the middle of the cave called the Devil’s Pit or something like that. We dropped a few things down the pit and almost immediately they caught fire. After we set up camp, another group came in and got mixed in with our group. It started to rain inside the cave. I tried crawling into my sleeping bag, but someone from the other group had left their baby at the head of my sleeping bag. I pushed the baby aside and crawled into my bag.

Then all of a sudden, a group of African tribesmen raided our camp. They took us all hostage. The queen of the tribe singled me out and had her people mix a special formula. They motioned for me to put my penis on a grill like table. I was reluctant at first because I thought they were going to cut it off. But the queen made it obvious she wanted me sexually, so I put my thing on the grill. Then her people spread this stuff on my thing. The queen led my to a different cave and jumped my bones. The men of the tribe didn’t like this idea and started rebelling against the queen. I went berserk, pulled out a sword and went Conan on the tribesmen, killing all of them. I tried to save the queen, but they speared her before I could. I freed the people fro, my group and the other group and we continued on our trek.

Drinking mead before bed might not be the best of ideas!

Wednesday turned into August…my birth month. I’ll be 39 on the 21st. Instead of feeling a crises coming on, I feel emotionally settled. In fact, this is the most settled I’ve felt for years. The difference is now I want things because I want them, not because I lack something. I don’t feel like I’ve lost something that can’t be found. I’m not in a state of longing to be somewhere else, but where I am. I know what I want. I want a hat with character.

I’ve been looking for a hat with character since I left Lanzarote. Marco, my dive master, had a cool hat that fit him perfectly. His hat reflected his character. Marco sported an Australian bush hat, a Barmah hat. Talk about synchronicity, since I left Lanzarote these Barmah hats have been springing into my consciousness.

The night before coming down to Cornwall, I was at a petrol station filling up with petrol. A car pulls up to the pump next to me and out jumps a wild man in shorts, constructions boots and a Barmah hat. I say wild man because he had very long grey hair and a long grey beard. He looked like he had just stepped out of the bush, well apart from the Bluetooth headset he was wearing.

And then on Monday in Looe, I saw three more people wearing these Barmah hats. This had to me more than just coincidence. I needed to find a Barmah hat. Where else to turn, but to the lady who sold me the mead. I asked her about these hats and where I might find one. And wouldn’t you know it, she knows a place down a back alley that sells leather goods. She suggested I try there.

I found them. I found the source of the Barmah hats in Looe of all places! It was like receiving a magical helmet from Athena. I now have my hat with character.

Looe, the town we stayed in, is home to Cornwall’s second largest fishing fleet and is Cornwall’s second most important port. We spent some time wandering the main drag dipping in out of the touristy shops. No trip to Cornwall is complete without having Cornish cream tea and scones. The place we ate at had scones the size of my hands. The cream was divine.

Looe also has a nice a beach and some decent restaurants to suit most tastes.

Ok, I need to wrap this post up. I had some valuable insight into enlightenment, but I’ll tell you about that in a follow on post. I’ll leave you with this last titbit: I spent one lazy afternoon at the campsite flying a sports kite. I found kite flying to be a tremendous Zen-like experience. There’s something about dancing with the wind, feeling its currents and becoming one with its flow.

the schmooze award

I’ve been awarded the schmooze award by the lovely shinade. She writes a very heartfelt and inspirational blog that touches the mind as well as the soul. Thanks Jackie!

what is the answer?

This is a post from beagle’s blog: Out of touch with Iraq Reality

We just passed the 3,600 US military personel killed in Iraq mark. I can’t help but think of the children and other family members of those who have died in this war.

Today president Bush said this (quoted from the New York Times):

“I fully understand that when you watch the violence on TV every night, people are saying, ‘Is it worth it, can we accomplish an objective?’ Well, first I want to tell you, yes, we can accomplish this fight and win in Iraq. And secondly, I want to tell you, we must, for the sake of our children and grandchildren.�

For the sake of our children and grandchildren? Oh really? Right.

My response to his post was this:

One version of reality is this: the U.S. Strategic Petroleum Reserve currently holds about 570 million barrels of oil. Given that the U.S. imports about half of its oil, the Strategic Petroleum Reserve would run out in about 60 days if all our imports were suddenly cut off.

Iraq currently has 112 billion barrels of oil in it reserves – the world’s second largest proven reserve. Perhaps President Bush is thinking about more than the short-term. Imagine what would happen if our imports were cut-off? Can we afford to leave the nation exposed to that kind of risk?

War sucks! But as Clausewitz said, war is politcs by other means. We only have to read the history books to see that the reality of Iraq is not a new story. Nation-states act out of their own self-interest no matter how much they try to dress up the trimmings.

I’ve been a soldier and it’s bloody hard work and a deadly serious business. But we volunteered knowing the hazards of our chosen profession. General Macarthur once remarked that it is the soldiers who prays for peace the most for he is the one who must bare the burdens of war.

There are so many variables to consider. Choosing the right course of action is tough. What is the cost of peace? What is the cost of maintaining the way of life we take so much for granted?

Crude oil is used to produce fuel for cars, trucks, airplanes, boats and trains. It is also used for a wide variety of other products including asphalt for roads, lubricants for all kinds of machines, plastics for toys, bottles, food wrap and computers.

How many of us consider what it means to turn the key in our ignitions or hop on a bus or train to go to work or fly somewhere on holiday? We want access to these things, but do we know the true cost of having them? Would we be prepared to give these things up?

Perhaps we are just victims of our own cleverness. I don’t know. I also don’t know what the answer is.

peace,

clay

farewell to lanzarote

holiday ending
eyes feels the blues coming on
return to normal

airport blues I have
tan bodies no bikinis
fading with the sand

more holiday haiku’s

cool blue liquid space
making bubbles like the fish
breathe underwater

three little sparrows
on my balcony stealing
bread to start the day

another lanzarote update

There’s something about scuba diving that is both relaxing and scary.  I like the idea of floating in 3-dimensional space and breathing like a fish, but the thought of something bigger than me suddenly deciding I’m a part of its food chain, scares me.

Still the joy of diving outweighs the fear.

I met up with my dive guide, a lady who calls herself Cruz.  She was taking me and another Spaniard, named Victor, out for a couple of shores dives from Puerto de Carmen. 

As much as I love Spain, I haven’t picked up the lingo to any great fluency, so we all had to communicate with each other in broken English and Spanish.  But that didn’t stop us from having great conversations.

Our first dive was to the Cathedral – a shore dive that’s accessed from playa de la barrilla. 

Basically it’s a short surface swim out of the bay followed by a free descent down to 14 meters.  From there we swam along the reef.  The visibilty was kicking in around 10 meters.  If I was a better underwater naturalist, I’d tell you about all the different fish I saw, but I’m not so I can only say I saw a lot of colorful fish (not very poetic I know).

We followed the reef to a drop off and then descended to 30 meters to the entrance of the Cathedral which is a large underwater lava cave.  I find caving on dry land a supreme test of my fear factor.  Going into one of these puppies underwater bolted my fear factor up twenty-fold. 

It was like going into the belly of the whale.

A few meters into the cave, Victor gave the “I’m not going any further into this thing sign” and so we turned and left.  Later Victor, pictionary style, told me he became very claustrophobic.

The belly of the whale was too forboding.

Our second dive was a leisurely underwater swim to a place called the Blue Hole, whiched turned out to be a 2-3 meter wide hole in the reef.  Victor, who already made it clear he wasn’t much up for sliding into holes, elected to go over the top of the reef.  Cruz and I went into the Hole and swam down to 25 meters and through the hole out the other side!

I enjoyed both dives and I left the ocean feeling calm, relaxed and joyful at being privy to another world.

Here are a few more holiday haiku’s:

spanish pub sitting
people milling through markets
sun setting cool breeze

lovely evening walk
people parading around
laughter fills the air

woman in red dress
red shoes to match red handbag
sweet perfume lingers
clay
lanzarote 2007