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This hit me smack dead between the eyes this morning.  It’s a passage from a book by a Russian guy named Gurdjieff, who basically dedicated his life to answering the question: “What is the sense and significance of life on earth and human life in particular?”  He developed a school of thought called The Fourth Way, but I won’t go into that just yet.  The passage in question that caught my eye was this – and I’m paraphrasing here – life is like a river that forks into two branches.  There is the involutionary branch and there is the evolutionary branch.  People who take the involutionary branch essentially just spend their whole life meeting the basic requirements of nature.  In polite speak they are like cattle and all of their energy is focused on eating, breeding, raising their young and being a good member of the herd.  People who take the evolutionary branch embrace life.  They are never satisfied with the status quo.  They are always pushing the boundaries. Always looking for opportunities to grow.  These people, according Gurdjieff, will have something extra in life that other people will never have.

Now the thing is I think there is no end to the amount of people who talk about personal growth, who talk about not living life in the comfort zone.  I’ll hold my hand up and say that I  too have been guilty of loitering in the comfort zone, which is why this passage probably struck such a cord with me this morning.  Although I am a cautious man, I have never been known as someone who doesn’t like pushing the edge, but lately, I have been sitting back in the comfort zone with my feet up, six pack in hand, and the beer belly to show for it.  But they say it only takes the right passage at the right time to change the course of your life.

Now where did I put my sword?

The headlines in the British press over the past week have been fixated on President Obama’s upcoming decision on Afghanistan. What should he do – send more troops or look for an honorable way to get out? Perhaps President Obama should turn to the words of a former president – John Quincy Adams – for counsel. J.Q.A. had this to say about American entanglement in foreign affairs: ‘…she goes not abroad, in search of monsters to destroy…She well knows that by once enlisting under other banners than her own, were they even the banners of foreign independence, she would involve herself beyond the power of extrication, in all the wars of interest and intrigue, of individual avarice, envy, and ambition, which assume the colors and usurp the standard of freedom…She might become the dictatress of the world. She would be no longer the ruler of her own spirit….’

I am  in the business of helping people help themselves, or at least guiding them through a journey of self-help.  One of my bones of contention with the self-help, positive psychology industry has been the dumbing-down, over optimistic approach to achieving the good life.

Barbara Ehrenreich has a new book out that addresses this issue called Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America She was compelled to write the book because of the deluge of positive psychology she received after finding out she had breast cancer in 2000.  She said all that shiny optimism was “like sitting in a warm bubble bath for too long.”  You can read the full interview of her here.

I like to think that my approach to the industry is more about challenging people to think for themselves and in doing that, to focus on what they can do and what they do want and not the opposite.  And maybe my thinking is left over from the “can do” attitude the army instills in you, or from my mother who beat it into me that “if you want something, go get it. Period!”

I feel the need for motion.  The past seven months I have been fully engaged with work behind the walls of the corporate castle, and now I feel the need to spend time roaming urban landscapes, wilderness, countryside, and mountains.  I want to re-engage with the world beyond the walls.  And those walls include the walls that surround my home.

I thought this would be a good story to share because I often here people making their big life goals – the goals they claim they really want – conditional.  They have the ‘someday’ mentality. ‘Someday when all the conditions are perfect, I’ll do the thing I really want to do with my life.’

I believe what they are really asking for is guaranteed success. Before they are willing to begin, they want someone (God, the Universe, Madam Golda) to look into the future and tell them that if they go for the thing they want, they will definitely get it and it will be just as they dreamed it would be and life will be wonderful. Without this guarantee, they refuse to act.

I’ve been down this road myself, sticking with the safe option, the perceived ‘sure thing’, the steady paycheck. All the while watching one day bleed into the next and wistfully dreaming about ‘someday.’

I don’t know if you know the story of Liz Murray, the lady who went from being homeless on the streets of New York City to attending Harvard and becoming a successful international speaker, author, and life coach. Their is a movie out about her life called Homeless to Harvard. All the odds were stacked against her. She had only a grade school education. She was living on the streets and being raised by two drug addicted parents.

But she wanted a better life. To get it, she knew she had to give up the if-this-then-that mentality. She said: “Before I had my transformation, I always had this illusion I call if-this-then-that. If I find a quiet place place, then I’ll study. If I get some more cash, then I’ll go to school. We do that when there is no real commitment to a goal. We’re saying ‘I’m committed unless…’”

She goes on to say there is a big difference between ‘I’m committed unless’ and absolute commitment. Absolute commitment means you’ll do whatever it takes. No excuses! No waiting for permission to act. No waiting for someday. No waiting for absolute guarantees.

To begin, you have to begin with absolute faith. Let go of the if-this-then-that mentality. This reminds me of a story Joseph Campbell, the late 20th century philosopher and mythology expert, told of a Native American father’s advice to his son: “As you go the way of life, you will see a great chasm. Jump! It is not as wide as you think.”

Are you standing on the edge of a chasm?

Take a good look at it.

Now jump!

In times of reflection I sometimes turn to the Tao Te Ching (the book of The Way), written by Lao-Tzu, for guidance. Over these past several days my thinking has taken several synchronistic turns and I realize that the path I chose to walk several years ago is still the path I am on. It seems though that over the past 10 months I haven’t been walking the path, that I had rejected that which I had once embraced. But this morning I realized that I have just been taking a break, that I had only momentarily set my backpack aside to rest for a moment on the trail. And now I feel ready to continue on with a clearer sense of purpose and thought.

I opened the book of The Way and the passage I settled on was this:

He who stands on tiptoe
doesn’t stand firm.
He who rushes ahead
doesn’t go far.
He who tries to shine
dims his own light.
He who defines himself
can’t know who he really is.
He who has power over others
can’t empower himself.
He who clings to his work
will create nothing that endures.

If you want to accord with the Tao,
just do your job, then let go.

And even as I reflect on these words I can feel the weight of my pack settle on my shoulders, hips and back, and it feels good and right.

(This translation of the Tao Te Ching was taken from Stephen Mitchell.)

A: “Why do you answer questions with questions?”
B: “Perhaps because you ask questions to which you know the answers.”
A: “Well if I knew the answers, why would I bother to ask?”
B: “Because you want to avoid knowing your own answers.”

I’ve come to far on my journey to slip back into old ways and travel familiar paths. Time to set my eyes on new horizons and follow new paths. I am more of a wanderer than a traveller…being a traveler implies reaching a destination, a wanderer has no destination. And “not all those who wander are lost.”

I decided it was time for a change.