in the spirit of mythic imagination, my new goddess is Eris, the Greek goddess of chaos and discord. she reigns supreme. in her domain, contradictions aren’t just accepted; they’re celebrated. to her, the world is a cosmic joke, but the punchline is that we’re all in on it.
Ah, Discordianism, that wacky funhouse of a philosophy where logic and reason are given a swirlie in the cosmic toilet! Picture a landscape where contradictions frolic in fields of paradox and punchlines grow on trees of circular reasoning. The patron saint of this kooky religion? None other than Eris, goddess of screwing things up on a cosmic scale, spreading chaos from her golden apple of discord (now available in delicious Granny Smith).
The bible of this merry madhouse of metaphysics is the absurdist classic Principia Discordia. Forget commandments—the editors, Alice and Bob (or was it Malaclypse and Ravenhurst?) present Discordianism’s holy text in all its contradictory, self-negating glory. Packed full of truths half-told and stories full of holes, it reads like Finnegans Wake as penned by the Marx brothers on mescaline. Dadaists once dreamed of art free from reason; in Discordia, they built their illogical paradise!
So what exactly do followers of Eris believe, besides the belief that there is nothing to believe? For one, they revel in the sheer nonsensicality of our pandaemonium cosmos. Their mantra whispers: “Nothing is real, and nothing to get hung about.” For reality itself shifts like a game of four-dimensional peek-a-boo. Isn’t it sublime and silly how we chase after patterns like dogs stalking their tails?
As an offering to their goddess of disorder, clever Discordians came up with Operation Mindfuck—a plan to lose their minds in order to come to their senses. How? By jumping out from behind bushes of perception yelling “Boo!” at those trapped by Absurd-O-Phobia. They unleash waves of cosmic confusion to get our brains out of their causal cul-de-sac. For if laughter is the best medicine, these holy fools hope to cure reality’s illness with healthy doses of cognitive dissonance.
What does it all mean? Who knows! And that’s precisely the punchline this philosophy, with its aversion to facts, is trying to slip us. In the guffawing gospel, according to Discordians, there is no reason worth knowing aside from knowing no reason at all. It’s all one gigantic joke—a shaggy dog story with no punchline. But that’s what makes it so silly and satisfying! As disciples of disorder love to say, “We Discordians must stick apart!”
So hail Eris, folks—it’s nonsense or nothing!0